The Fear that Calms All Fear

I used to eat insects when I was little. Mom told me that she found me eating bugs countless times, and she’d have to scoop them out of my mouth. She said, she doesn’t really know how many bugs I actually ingested. Crunchy potato bugs, ants, spiders, you name it. They were all potential victims, to my curious tongue.

I ironically developed, at a young age, a phobia of spiders. Though, other bugs don’t bother me. (For the comfort of those of you who share my phobia, I am done mentioning bugs in this post.) :0)

What are you afraid of? Is it a discomfort around large dogs? Is it a fear of letting yourself grow attached to someone, who might end up not loving you as much as you want to be loved ...or re-wounding you in ways you’ve been burned before? Is it a fear of how people might respond to a dark part of your past, or present? Do you struggle to trust people? Is there a sircomstance that has consumed you with fearful worry, of how you will ever make it through your future, or even face today?

What things cause you fearful anxiety, worry, or even panic?

Did you think of something? I know I can think of a lot of things for me. One thing that God has been working on, in me, is the concept of the fear that calms all fear.

The fear that calms all fear, is the fear of God.

What does it mean, to fear God? Personally, I often get a kind of sinking feeling inside, when I think of the term “fearing God.” When I’m already afraid of so much, it feels defeating, to think about fearing one more thing.

But that feeling comes out of my misunderstanding, of what it means to fear God. The fear of the Lord actually brings rest, breath, relief, peace, ...fearlessness. The fear of God hushes, stills, pacifies, calms, all fear.

I get my misunderstanding of fearing the Lord, when I think that it’s the same kind of fear that I have with certain other things. Like when I think about my family’s tight finances, or when I go to sleep and dream that I’m naked in public. But the fear of God is a completely different kind of fear. ...Like the crown on a princess, is different than the crown on a tooth. Or the mic you sing into, ...is different than my brother Mike. To be God fearing, is a different definition of fear.

To fear the Lord does NOT mean, to be anxious, worried, terrified, or frightened.

To fear the Lord, means to love Him. It means to be in AWE, of His awesome power, majesty, and ability. It means to seek to know how to describe who He is, what He’s done, and promised He will do, what He thinks about, and what He’s passionate about. The more we get to know about Him, the closer we draw to Him, and the deeper we come to just begin to fathom ...the unfathomable greatness, and size of God, ...the more we will change how we live, in response to Him. If you think about it, all of these things will naturally happen, if we love Him. The definition of fearing God: love Him.

These last couple years, I’ve been DROWNING in worrisome anxiety, and fearful panic. These two rough years for me, have thrown me into the need to draw nearer to the Lord, and to try to understand Him better. This has caused me to fear God (in other words: to love God) more. The more intimate my friendship with God has become, the more I want to show Him my fear of Him (my love of Him,) by altering how I live, think, speak. The more tenderly I adore Him (same as to fear Him,) the more I am longing, seeking, to learn about what He thinks, feels, who He is. This fearing (loving, gentle adoration) of God, has been producing an ever deepening... PEACE, FEARLESSNESS, FREEDOM FROM ANXIOUS WORRY.

This PEACE, is largely due to my growing in knowledge of God’s personality, character traits, mind, heart. MyFEARLESSNESS is founded in WHO GOD IS. The more I fear God (love God,) the more I seek to learn about Him, because Iwant to know who He is. And the more I know about who God is, the more I understand and see, the REST, HOPE, SAFETY, BREATH, RELIEF FROM ANXIOUS WORRY, FREEDOM FROM FEAR, PEACE, that I have in Him.

To fear God, means to love God, which is a beautiful, peace giving thing. The fear of God brings peace. The fear (love) of God is a desirable kind of fear. It brings relief, from ALL negative kind of fear. To fear (love) God, brings FREEDOM, from the negative kind of fear, FREEDOM from anxiousness, worry, panic, terror.

For those who love (desirable fear) God, there is no negative (undesirable) fear. For those who fear God, there is no fear. For those who fear God, there IS NO fear!

The fear (love) of God brings SECURITY, DEEP REST. The fear (love) of God, is the fear that DISSOLVES, STOPS, STILLS all fear. The fear of God, is the fear that PACIFIES, HUSHES, QUIETS all fear. The fear of God, is the fear that CALMS ALL fear.

This post is dedicated to a cousin of mine, who shares in common with me, Anxiety Disorder, and panic attacks. Love you, cuz’!

Lord, May YOUR Will be Done... I LOVE You!

About a year and a half ago, the disabilities that I already had (Generalized Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress) suddenly flared up overwhelmingly. This threw me into a new one, Panic Disorder. Panic Disorder threw my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (caused by traumas in my past), and the other disorders into something that has absolutely crippled me. This, and the consistent panic attacks throughout every day, ended up causing me to be house bound, for the last year. I dropped out of all activities, except councilor and doctor appointments. Since Christmas, I have been able to attend the Worship and Creative Arts rehearsals most weeks at my church, as a member of their prayer team. Other than that, I have mostly been bound to my room. The panic and anxiety has often made it hard for me to get food down, causing loss of weight, and sometimes needing people to support me walking, from lack of ability to get nutrition. These disabilities have long crippled me from being able to have a job, have my own apartment (I am very grateful for my parents letting me stay with them), or from who I am inside, being able to break out of my cage. As my situation has been substantualy worse, this last year and a half, my personality, my passions, my gifts, have been ever more trapped inside my body. This leads into the following, below.

* * * * *

I need You, Lord, I need You!

Let there be life. Let there be life in me... and You are life. Let there be life in me, that they would come to know You! And You ARE life! That they would come to know LIFE! Let there be life in me, that they would come to know You more! And You ARE life! That they would come to know life MORE!

Let the world see YOU are God! Through my weakness, may the world see Your power! Through my inability, may the world see Your ability! Let the world see my weakness, so that anything You do, no one will be able to say it was by my power! May no one be able to say that Your works were done by anyone or anything else!

May I be completely free! Heal my heart, soul, mind, and body, so that I can be who I am for You! Heal me, so that I can sing and write music, so You can lead others to come to know You, and into ever deepening lifestyles of worship of You, through music. Father, may I be healed, so that I can be able to use my passion for orphans and abandoned children/adults, to serve You. Restore me, so I can fulfill my passions to be a voice for the voiceless, to write, to be the kind of leader I long to be, for You. Enable me to serve You in my draw to China, in my pull to Christian apologetics, and to be able to fully use the compassion that is built into me. Lord, heal me, so that I can use my deep, deep longing... to encourage... exhort... build up... and nurture... groups of people, teams, and individuals. May I be released from my chains, so that I can pursue my friends, my family, and people that don’t expect it. Father, heal me, so I can be able to use my passions and my gifts... every part of me for You!

Finnish the work You started in me! Thank You for allowing me to go through this, so You could direct and grow me, all You have! I am so grateful, for all You have taught me, and changed in me, through this time! If I must continue to go through struggle, for You to finish what You are doing in me, then let it go on as long as it needs to!

Finnish the work You started in me! May I be love as YOU are love. May I be grace as YOU are grace. May I be forgiveness as YOU are forgiveness. May I be a leader as YOU are a leader. Deepen my passion to be led by You, through others. Teach me how to tear down, and prevent division, and how to initiate, and grow unity. Continue to show me who You are, as my Father. Teach me how to be the kind of daughter, You want me to be to You.

I praise You, because You are able! I praise You, for Your powers and Your wonders!

I let go of everything. I am willing to loose everything, and everyone else, if it is what You see best. Take everything! Just give me YOU! Do whatever would make Your dreams come true! I LOVE You! Lord, May YOUR Will be Done... I LOVE You!

Wrote a Short Story with a Rhyme, Made For a Laugh

Wrote a poem... a humorous ;) story, about a man who uses twitter. I just started using Twitter... guess it's been on my mind!

Twitterville

It started when he sat down flat, upon the seat on which he sat,

where he said "Aw stweet!" and made his first twitter,

upon his computer.

He kicked up his feet, and began to out twitter,

all of his twitter friends 'till they became bitter.

For he was a twitter bird who twittered all he ever heard.

He twittered like a toddler on a teeter-totter,

mindlessly telling of all his ups and downs.

'Till his twitter buds thought that he'd teetered too far.

They twittered "You're a twit!" He threw a fit,

went off twitter for all time,

and to this day, upon that chair he will not sit.

Then his ex-tweets twittered "Aw stweet, that's the end of it!"

Just When Nothing at All Seemed to Make Sense

Does God only bring good things... out of some of our suffering? Or does God have good purposes... He brings out of all suffering?

What about the really horrible things? What about the things that just... don't... seem... to make sense?

This last year and a half of tears, has brought that question out in me a lot. Have you ever asked yourself that? "Does God have a reason, for absolutely each... and every pain... we endure?"

The answer is yes! God has planned in advance, purpose… that is GOOD, to bring out of every hardship we go through. In a previous post, I wrote to God:

“I know that out of my tough circumstances,
You will bring good out of it,
for You, me, and for others.
You made the UNIVERSE out of nothing.
So, You have the power to make good works out of what I have lost,
and what is no more.
You brought so MUCH good, out of the agony You took on at the cross.
So, You have the power to use how I am broken,
to bring good out of it for You, me and others.
You even have the power to use my sin,
as well as how I suffer from wrong choices,
so that people can come to know You.”

God loves both those who know Him, and those who don’t. God loves ALL people. This is a God, who’s love, dwarfs the size of the love, all humankind has ever felt, towards anyone and anything, combined! God dwarfs the universe! He is powerful enough to do all things. He made all things! In all His love, and in all His power, He will not restrain, in carrying out good things for us! He will do this through every one of our struggles, delights, and even each seemingly boring and pointless moment. Because He loves us enough to want to… and He is able to do what His love wants to do for us.

My last post, “A Song for Sunset Church,” addresses the question “Why would a GOOD God let BAD things happen?” The song below, on this post, deals with the question “Does God have a purpose for all our troubled times? …What about the things that just… don’t… make sense?”

The song below, is a song I have been working on, since Christmas. The song is about a concept, that my mother mentioned to me, around that time. The concept in this song, has been continuing to give me hope... and has been changing the way I think.

This song is sung a cappella. It is either sung by women and men, or only men. There are pros and cons about both options, but it is simple to change what key it is written in.

It is not a choral piece... it's sung one person per part. (Though I haven't counted how many parts there are yet. I can hear the harmonies and background in my head, but it varies how many people are singing, at different points of the song.)

Towards the end of the song, deep base drums will be added in, so it will not be truly a cappella at that point. ;)

Jesus is God, and has always existed. But He chose to come to Earth, in the form of a human baby. Jesus chose a person named Mary, to be His earthly mother, and give birth to Him.

The song begins, just after Jesus had been killed on the cross, and shortly before He came back to life. The song starts, just after Jesus had been taken off the cross and layed in His mother, Mary's, arms.

Meant to Save the World

***

Still.

***

Hushed.

***

Dead.

***

Crushed.

***

Lying limp

in His mother's arms.

***

***

***

Mary

***

seething

***

the sobs of

***

a mother.

***

She cries out

"Why?"

***

***

***

Nothing at all

***

seemed

***

to make

***

sense.

***

She

remembers.

***

She remembers the angel that met with her.

and the words the angel said.

She remembers the great multitude of angels

the shepherds told her of.

She remembers the miracle of virgin birth.

She remembers the blazing star

in the midnight sky

that led the wise men to her child,

bringing gold and other gifts of worth.

Oh, she

remembers

her son had walked on water!

Oh, she

remembers

her son had healed the blind!

Her son had healed the blind!

Her son proclaimed the truth!

Oh, she

remembers

He'd turned water into wine!

He'd turned water into wine!

She

remembers

even the sea was stilled

by the words that He had said!

By the words that He had said!

Her son had driven out demons

and raised Lazarus from the dead!

***

Then He's hanging

on

the cross

and just when

her

son

needed her the most

she couldn't wipe away

the tears

He

cried.

***

She remembers

all that He had done.

She wonders

all He would have done

had it not been

her son

who'd died.

***

Nothing made sense.

When nothing made sense.

Just when nothing at all

seemed to make sense.

Nothing made sense.

When nothing made sense.

Nothing made sense.

When nothing made sense.

Just when nothing at all

seemed to make

sense,

***

it was meant to save

***

the world!

***

Lord in all of Your power

Lord in all of Your power

You will pour out good

You will pour out good

through all the things we are suffering through

because You love us enough

because You love us enough

to do all that You

all that You as God

all that You as God are able to do!

***

Lord in all of Your power

Lord in all of Your power

You will pour out good

You will pour out good

through all the things we are suffering through

because You love us enough

because You love us enough

to do all that You

all that You as God

all that You as God are able to do!

***

No heart can comprehend! No!

No dreamer can imagine

all You have done

and will do in secret

through the things we suffer!

***

No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!

No human mind can fathom

all that we have yet to see

that we will get to see

that You will be doing

for the rest of all time

through the things we suffer!

***

No heart can comprehend! No!

No dreamer can imagine!

No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!

No human mind can fathom

all You have done

are doing now

and have yet to do

for forever and ever

and ever and ever

for

the sake of us!

***

And just when nothing at all seemed to make sense

it was meant to save the world!

***

About two thousand years later

Oh I am barely hanging in

there

and I am at

a

loss

of seeing how

You could bring

anything good

through my hangin' on.

***

But as the nails tore

Your

flesh

each time You rose

and

sank

to take

each

breath

***

You were hanging on

there

hanging on

the

cross

and You could see

everything

You would bring

through Your hangin' on.

***

I cry out

"God

oh

God

don't You hear

my cry?"

***

I shake

an angry

fist

asking

"Why

God

why?"

***

With my human eyes

oh how

I

wonder

what purposes

You could bring

out of my broken story.

***

But Your all seeing eyes

saw all the wonders

You saw all the wonders

You would bring out through the cross

You would bring out through the cross

in all Your glory!

***

You were bringing the hope

of freedom

hope of freedom from our stains

hope of freedom from our stains

from the foolish things we do!

You were bringing hope

of Heaven!

Heaven!

You were bringing the hope

of You!

Bringing the hope of You!

***

So when my life is a puzzle

is a puzzle

I remember

that just when nothing at all seemed

to make

sense

it was meant

to save

the world!

***

{deep base drums come in here}

Lord in all of Your power
Lord in all of Your power
You will pour out good
You will pour out good
through all the things we are suffering through
because You love us enough
because You love us enough
to do all that You
all that You as God
all that You as God are able to do!

***

No heart can comprehend! No!
No dreamer can imagine
all You have done
and will do in secret
through the things we suffer!
***
No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!
No human mind can fathom
all that we have yet to see
that we will get to see
that You will be doing
for the rest of all time
through the things we suffer!
***
No heart can comprehend! No!
No dreamer can imagine!
No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!
No human mind can fathom
all You have done
are doing now
and have yet to do
for forever and ever
and ever and ever
for
the sake of us!

***

No heart can comprehend! No!
No dreamer can imagine
all You have done
and will do in secret
through the things we suffer!
***
No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!
No human mind can fathom
all that we have yet to see
that we will get to see
that You will be doing
for the rest of all time
through the things we suffer!
***

{During the next verse, the following two lines are sung once.}

I praise You for Your power

and I praise You for Your love!

***
No heart can comprehend! No!
No dreamer can imagine!
No eyes have seen! No lips could tell!
No human mind can fathom
all You have done
are doing now
and have yet to do
for forever and ever
and ever and ever
for
the sake of us!
Just when nothing at all seemed

to make

sense

***
it was meant to save

***

the world!

A Song for Sunset Church

We have been watching an interesting story unfold, at our church. For over a year now, at Sunset, there has been an increase in the amount of things and people we care about dying. In the wake of a dying economy, so many people at our church, have been deeply touched by the death of a job, or hour reductions. There are many people, who are experiencing the intense suffering, of their marriages dying. There are those who have experienced the death of their bodies' health in some way. There have been deaths of immediate family members, relatives and friends.

Maybe you are walking through the death of the ability to fulfill a dream. Maybe you know the loss of a friendship that has died or the death of freedom from mental disabilities. Weather you attend Sunset or not, what is it in your life that has died?

In a previous post "Some Things were Born to Die, that there Might be LIFE!," I wrote to God: "So much has died in my life. You have been using the desperation this has produced, for me to seek to know who You are more, Your character, Your attributes. The more I am discovering and being reminded of about You, the more I am discovering how deep, how endlessly wide, how awesome this LIFE is that is YOU."

God uses death, to draw us closer to Him who is LIFE.

Because of all that has died throughout my lifetime, I struggle with a deep fear of loss. The song "Lost in All You Are," which I put up on a different post, adds another angle, to the knowledge that God is life. The theme of "Lost in All You Are," is that all that has ever been, is, and will ever be combined... amounts to less than nothing, when it stands before ALL GOD IS. The song highlights, that EVERYTHING God is... is life. Therefor, for those who know the Lord, there is NO fear in the death and loss of what we love. Because even if all that had ever been, is, and will ever be, died and was lost... it would all amount to less than nothing, when compared to ALL GOD IS. And everything God is... is LIFE.

Below is a song. It focuses on the truth, that some things were born to die, so that there would be life. It focuses on the truth, that God is life. All of us have experienced someone, or something we love, die. If you are someone who attends Sunset Church, I wrote this song with you particularly in mind.

We have been watching an interesting story unfold, at our church. God has meant the death we have known, to draw us deeper into Him... who IS life. And we will not be disappointed, because He who is life, overwhelms all else.

That there Would be Life

***

Images of tiny fingers

that never had the chance to reach

to grasp my fingers fast.

To grasp mine fast.

***

What would it have been like

to watch him living?

Never had a chance

to know just who he was.

***

Images of the very first breath

never taken.

Never had the chance

to breathe his last.

***

You

had a plan

that You had from the beginning.

That through all I love

who have died and that has died

some

things

some things were born to die

so that there would be

so that there would be life.

***

Images of robbed innocence

a friend left in the dust

a widow's shaking shoulders

of the wake left behind the lust.

***

Images of the man she loves

running from home

with her quivering heart.

***

Images of a layed off parent

overwhelmed

at all it takes

just tryin' to stay alive.

***

Images of an abandoned daughter

to hurt to wonder

what it would be like

to have

a

father.

***

Images of a broken child

down on his knees

who'd rather take his life

than just tryin' to survive.

***

You

had a plan

that You had from the beginning

that through all I love

who have died and that has died

some

things

some things were born to die

so that there would be

so that there would be life.

***

Some things were born to die

that we would be drawn deeper into You

and You are life

that we would be drawn deeper into life.

***

Because of who You are

You are hope! You are joy! You are peace! You are freedom!

You are life!

***

You are so much more

than all that has died throughout all time!

You overwhelm

all that could ever die!

You are so much more! You are so much more! You overwhelm!

And You are life!

***

You died to draw us nearer to You

and You are life!

You died to draw us nearer to life!

***

Images of You God upon a cross.

You who are life

breathing in Your last.

***

Images of You who believes so deeply

in bringing life through death

that You chose to be born to suffer and die

***

that the whole world would have breath

***

and we would breathe in life at last!

***

Images of a grave with a body gone!

On Easter morning

You rose again!

Now life has spoken!

***

Images of the breaking rays of dawn

when death itself

was broken!

***

You are life

and life has triumphed

over death forever!

You are The One

Who is Mighty to Save

and You

have conquered

the grave!

***

Some things

some things were born to die

so that there would be

so that there would be life!

***

You are life

and when I come to You

I come to life!

***

I come to life!

***

Some things

some things were born to die

so that there would be

so that there would be life!

***

You are life

and when I come to You

I come to life!

***

I come to life!

***

You are life!

I come to You!

I come to life!

***

I come to life!

***

I come to You!

I come to life!

***

I come to life!

Come Running

One of the songs that's been percolating in my mind now for a while, was bubbling in me today. So, today I sat down with God, and worked on it. I'm excited that the lyrics are now completed, and that the melody seems to be done as well. All I have right now are the melody and the lyrics, so I'm looking forward to adding more to it. I have enough though, to pray that it will be used for what I really wrote it for, here on my blog.

This song focuses, on how God loves all people. Weather we're a little girl playing princess, or we're someone who murdered a thousand people, God wants to intimately be our Father. Whatever we've done, or are doing wrong, weather we know the Lord or not, God wants desperately for us to draw close to Him.

If we choose to come to Him, God is our home here on Earth and in Heaven. Right here, right now, we get to come, and call Him home.

Come Running

***

Who is this God

who comes running

falling down upon His knees

arms open wide

saying come

child come

just as you are?

***

Who is this God

there hanging

from the nails upon the cross

arms open wide

saying come

child come

just as you are?

***

Who is this Father

hands shaking

eyes quivering with tears

He's crying on behalf of me

saying come

child come

just as you are?

***

Who is this Father

who'd give His son

in a Father's desperate love

to suffer on behalf of me

saying come

child come

just as you are

***

So come!

Come just as you are!

So come just as you are!

***

So come!

Come running

arms open wide

falling down upon your knees

to meet Him there

lost in His embrace!

***

So come!

Come dancing!

Wipe the tears upon His face

that He's crying as He waits

for you just to call Him home!

***

So come just as you are!

Come just as you are!

Come just as you are!

Come just as you are!

So come!

***

I come

come running!

I come arms open wide

falling down upon my knees

to meet You there!

Lost in Your embrace

I come just as I am!

***

I come

come dancing!

I wipe the tears upon Your face

that You're crying in a Father's desperate love

and I call You home!

***

I come!

I come!

I come and call You Father!

My Father!

My Father!

I come and call You friend!

My friend!

My friend!

I come just as I am!

Just as I am!

Just as I am!

Just as I am I call You home!

My home!

My home!

I come and call You home!

***

I come and call You home!

***

I come and call You home!

***

I come and call You home!

***

I come and call You home!

Lost In All You Are

Jay McKenney, our worship minister at Sunset Church, is urging people at Sunset to offer songs they have composed, to use in our services. I am aware of a number of people in my circle, who compose in private. If you have a song you have written, or would enjoy sitting down to write, I would LOVE to hear what's been going on in your head, in a way that God, I and others get to benefit from.

I have decided to participate in this, but in a little different way. For perhaps over half of my lifetime, my health conditions have not allowed me to bring to completion the music I compose. The in the moment songs or music pieces I create, are completed constantly. But these music pieces are fleeting, coming into my mind, sung out or played on our electric piano, then disappear. However, the pieces I work on long term, I continually end up without the ability to bring to completion. Composing comes easily for me, but my disabilities have for years gotten in the way of my bringing my stuff to completion. That might not make sense to you, but keep in mind that for years brushing my teeth, reading a book or sending an email, have been tremendously difficult for me, because of disabilities. So, I have decided to participate, in a different way.

I deeply desire for others to share with me, in worshiping God, through the music I create. So, below are the lyrics to a song I just finished the lyrics to. The instrumental back round has been moving forward. The melody for the words is pretty much completed, but has some bubbles to work out. The song is called "Lost In All You Are."

This song focuses on how God is SO MUCH MORE than everything else combined. How even if everything was lost, those who know the Lord would still have unfathomably more, in God.

Lost In All You Are

***

(lead vocal... not decided if man or woman)

When You rise

The mountains bow their summits to the ground

When You stand

Mighty forests of old drop like splinters to the earth

***

At the glory of

At the glory of the Lord

***

When You shine

The stars fall from the skies

To the depths of the ocean floors

When You breathe

The oceans raise their foaming peaks to praise You

***

At the glory of

At the glory of the Lord

***

Every glacier plummeting into the sea

Each imploding star

All mankind that is, that have been born and that have yet to be

Every choir of angels, crying out the anthem of Your love

The whole of all the universe

All that is, and was, and that has yet to be

***

Everything fades into less than nothing

As it stands before all You are

***

And when everything is gone

All that's lost fades into less than nothing

As it stands before all You are

When all is lost

I'm lost in all You are

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost in You

When all is lost

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost in all You are

***

(mens' choir joins in singing with lead vocal, when last verse is repeated second time)

***

(after second repetition of last verse, lead vocal stops singing and childrens' choir joins with verse below... mens' choir continues repeating the verse they were singing)

(childrens' choir)

Great leaders bend their knees

Angels tremble as they worship You

Demons skater to the farthest reaches of the shadows

At the whisper of Your name

***

Childrens' lips sing out Your praises

Distant island nations glorify Your name

All creation bows before You

***

At the glory of

At the glory of the Lord

***

(after childrens' choir completes first repetition of their verse, womens' choir joins in with a new verse as mens' choir and childrens' choir continue to repeat their parts)

(womens' choir)

Lost in wonder of You

In breathless worship I bow my life before You

In giddy joy, in bliss, in thrill

I know the laughter of the deep

***

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost

In all You are

And everything You are

Is life

***

(All parts repeat again as lead vocal joins in the song again vocalizing. During this same repetition, after the lead vocal joins in, all instruments become suddenly silent. All parts continue to be sung a cappella during instrumental silence. When that repetition completes, instruments come back in meeting the crescendo. All parts repeat, breaking off at different points, to join in singing round the verse below.)

And when everything is gone

All that's lost fades into less than nothing

As it stands before all You are

When all is lost

I'm lost in all You are

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost in You

When all is lost

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost in all You are

And everything You are

Is life

***

(After all parts sing this round twice, each part stops singing after their second repetition of this verse ends. Just as lead vocal is about to become the last one to finish singing their part, all instruments suddenly cease, except for a low rumble. Lead vocal sings softly, voice filled with awe, what is written below.)

I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost in all you are

(low rumble fades and lead vocal completes singing, in a soft voice filled with awe, what is written below)

And everything You are

Is Life